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CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my financial planner has made me.
STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.
BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET - a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no s*x.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT - an archaic word no longer in use.
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4 comments • BILL CHERRY • March 16 2009 08:21AM
Bill, this is a funny list. I'm glad I don't give my money to someone else to invest in the traditional investments.
Hi Bill Thanks for the post. We can add to this Recession, "A down turn in the economy causing a tight job market Depression, A down turn in the economy that causes you to lose your job
Bill, There is frequently a lot of truth in humor. Love the list. Rich
Unfortunately, some are more true than funny. Hey, sell my dad's lots!
http://www.solutions-for-real-estate.com/doverinvestcurrent.html
I don't know why your points got nixed on this one, so here's a comment point.