All of us at one time or another are blind sided. Someone accuses us of something; they ask us to do something; we find ourselves in a trap. We'd rather not answer the question, but we do. For some reason, we believe "time is of the essence" is a required obeyance.
And we've been taught, I guess, or perhaps its intuitive, that we must provide a response. It's expected. It's good manners. And so we say something stupid, and we bury ourselves forever. We may even answer the question when 1) we don't have to and/or 2) it's none of the other party's business.
I frequently read the Question and Answers that are asked and provided within the Active Rain system. And often times the problem being laid out before us by the questioner is in essence, "How do I get out of this trap?"
And many of those times there should be more to the sentence. In fact it should read, "How do I get out of the this trap I've gotten myself in."
There are several answer statements everyone should learn:
"I don't know, I'll take it under advisement."
"Let me think about it and I'll get back to you with an answer."
"Before I answer, I want to get input from == my husband, my wife, my lawyer, my boss, my business partner, my daddy, my mother."
And then there's how you should construct the actual answer. Succinctly. With only a "yes" or a "no" when possible. Don't emblish your answer. Just answer the question, or don't answer it at all if you don't want to.
Finally, don't write letters and memos if there's any chance your disagreement may end up in court. Copies of what you write, email, fax, etc. can be asked for in the discovery process, and you must provide them. Now the other side has empirical data that can hurt you.
Phil Noah was a famous live insurance executive. He told everyone who would listen to never write a disagreement. Instead, call and disagree. It was the perfect advice.
Bill, the suggestion that the written word is trouble comes in many variations, I recently responded to a potential client seeking advice on a listing. When My answer didn't match another agents answer this seller was seeking to be enlightened, and forwarded me the other brokers response (unsolicited), but nun-the-less received I read it and said wow this other Broker, is an ass and I wonder if he ever thought his email would be forwarded to a competing agent near by..I learned a lesson by someone else's blunder that day. Steve
good advice but some times we get into the discussion and do feel the need to respond.
Bill,
Many people think they are entitled to ask anything, many others don't think, fortunately most people are polite, if only because many are timid. I think it's important to give a dead pan answer with either the absolute truth or the biggest lie you can think of, which ever is more outrageous! Such rude people rarely will believe your answer, even if true. Try to moderate or explain your position they will believe at least some of it and worse repeat it!
"I don't know, I'll take it under advisement."
"Let me think about it and I'll get back to you with an answer."
Are two of the best answers in sales and life!
"Before I answer, I want to get input from == my husband, my wife, my lawyer, my boss, my business partner, my daddy, my mother."
My response has always been "I thought you said you were the decision make? I'll take you back to your car now, call me when we can all look at the property!
I always ask before taking younger couples or buyers getting financial help before showing them property. In most cases I'd refer them elsewhere.
I wouldn't work with anyone who would not put their thought in writing! Phil Noah may say a lot of things he doesn't believe to make sales, from the sounds of his advice. People will sue over what they thought they heard. It's had for a salesman to defend himself when a couple and maybe Mama say he said it, Tell the truth, give good advice, put it in writing, and keep good records! Written records end suits early. While we're at it renew your E & O insurance!
Bill
Winston Churchill used to say, "Never complain, never explain." That advice might be relevant here. Polititians, for all their shortcomings, have great skills in this regard. When asked a question they don't want to answer, they deftly deflect it by answering something different. I always try to think of the possible liability in any answer. If I don't know, I don't make representations as though I did know.
Bill, well stated. The Internet has a lot of failings Q&A boards do not take the place of seeking good legal advice. Even in AR, many agents should be first speaking to their broker and an attorney rather than posting dilemmas on-line. It could be a classic case of the blind leading the blind.
Thanks to all of you for your thoughts -- Jim, Gene, William, Brian, Terry and the Secret Agent at Alpine Lakes Real Estate.
I had an interesting experience one time. A person had been exchanging emails on a subject. Both had been friends for a long time, so one of them wasn't too careful about what he wrote and how he said it.
Wouldn't you know that Friend No. 1 sued No. 2, and he used as his evidence the many emails he had saved and printed out from Friend No. 2. And, of course, he had purged those that didn't help his position.
Of course, he hadn't saved HIS OWN emails and neither had No. 2. So they went to court with No. 1 having a huge amount of direct evidence to support his suit, and No. 2 with no evidence to the contrary.
Guess who won....