From CNN-Money
Lenoard Lauder
Chairman, The Estée Lauder Companies
The best advice I ever got came from my mother, Estée Lauder: She believed that if you had something good to say, you should put it in writing. But if you had something bad to say, you should tell the person to his or her face.
I learned this lesson the hard way. I'm chairman of the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York, and several years ago, I was angry with one of my trustees. I wrote a letter and signed it. But then I decided not to send the letter.
The following Monday ... a temp saw the letter and mailed it.
I've always had an easy time intellectually knowing this is totally correct. But I've had a much harder time following it.
Phil Noah, friend and chairman of the board of a company I briefly worked for, told me the same thing as Lenoard Lauder's mother told him. But Mr. Noah added a caveat. He said, "If you tell a person your criticism, over time any hurt he experiences from it diminishes. But if you write it, he can save your letter, pull it out and reread it anytime he wants to. It'll help him be mad at you all over again.
Isn't this so true.
Thanks for sharing.
Miss Linda --
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Bill
Bill, this advice is very true. However, in my experience it seems that women always remember all the bad things you do or say whether or not you write them down. It's a mental Rolodex, if you will, of your bad deeds, saved up, to be sprung upon you at the right occasion.
On the other hand, they, most particularly my wife, also remembers all of the good things.
Bill, this is good advice! Thanks a bunch for the kind reminder. Later in the rain~Deb
Charlie, you've got a wicked sense of humor! That's priceless.
Miss Debra, and Miss Judi I find myself wanting to ream someone out every now and then, but I find if I can keep myself from writing them, I can keep myself from offending a friend.
Miss Joanie, so you are living proof that this whole suggestion is correct. Thank goodness my daddy was such a salesman that he always sold us on change rather than fussing at us because we didn't see things his way.
Brian Boy, your experience with ladies tracks with mine. And what is interesting is that you may not hear about a former displeasure for years, then they bring it up and tell you what a jerk you were, verbatim. That really unnerves you.