BILL CHERRY'S GREATEST DALLAS PARK CITIES REAL ESTATE BLOG: December 2008

I can't help but think of this story every year during the Christmas-New Year Holidays, and I always have this burning desire to share it.  It took place just before New Year's Eve in about 1960.

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Gigs for Italian singers had been terrible for a long time. But then out of nowhere came "That's Amore," "Mel Blu di Pinto di Blue," and "Al di La." And things got very good for them.

And that's when Macino Rapuchi, with his Sam Maceo-esque billing, "the International Continental Stylist," hit Galveston with his guitar and accordion, and found his way to headline at the Studio Lounge upstairs over the Turf Grill at 2214 Market Street.  That very spot had headlined Peggy Lee, Myron Cohen, Sinatra, Peter Lind Hayes and Mary Healy, and a host of others; that is as long as the casino above it was operating.

But about five years before Macino hit town, the famed Texas Rangers had permanently closed Galveston's illegal casino gambling

So for the first time in a long time, business at the Studio Lounge got really good, and it was because Macino knew those songs, and he sang them over and over again as he paraded around the room strumming his guitar or squeezing his accordion. Macino was tall and good looking and was full of personality. He spoke broken English. The girls loved him. 

When he'd finish a tune, he'd yell, "Ecco! Ecco!" That was notice for the audience to clap their hands off. 

Men had no choice but to take their dates to the Studio Lounge to hear Macino Rapuchi, the International Continental Stylist. Drinks were 75 cents a piece and you had to tip Macino a buck every time he sang a line or two at your table. Macino could make it by your table with his hand out at least a dozen times a night. Be prepared for that date to cost 30 bucks.

Now you remember me telling you about wise guy Joe Pajucie with his cheap looking girls in their Frederick's of Hollywood bullet bras and Carmen Miranda wedge shoes, all piled in his two-payment past-due used red Cadillac convertible from Child's Motors, don't you?

Well, on this Friday night around New Year's Eve-time, Joe was in the mood for some loving. So he picked up his cheap looking girls from the bar at the Derrick Club, loaded them in the red Cadillac convertible and headed downtown to the Studio Lounge.

He figured he'd finally be able to hit a home run and get in some smooching with at least one of the three if he took them to see Macino Rapuchi, the International Continental Stylist.

Macino was singing "Al di La" when they walked in. 

Al di la, del bene plu prezioso, ci sei tu, ci sei tu

   Al di la, del sogno plu ambizoso, ci sei tu, ci sei tu 

Even though the Studio Lounge's carpet was worn thin, and the black light on the murals couldn't hide the years that had past since it had last been redecorated, and the odor of Pine ‘o Pine coming from the restrooms was far from subtle, nevertheless on the way over, Joe Pajucie had convinced the girls that the Studio Lounge in its earlier days had been the place where new talent was auditioned for the chance of a future engagement at the Balinese Room.

They sat down, ordered, and the waitress brought them their drinks along with a small bowl of Goldfish crackers. Macino was on to "Volare," and he was whaling his lungs out and the accordion was huffing and puffing trying its best to accompany him.

Macino finished, and went into his ending, "Ecco! Ecco!" The audience, especially the women, started clapping their hands off. 

And that's when one of Joe Pajucie's cheap looking girls, Madeleine was her name, started slowly rising like a human Phoenix out of the banquette and she looked Macino square in the eye and said for him and everyone else in the room to hear, "I love you!"

With that and without saying a word, Macino set down his accordion in front of him on the dance floor, went to the juke box, threw in a quarter, and quickly punched up six tunes, one of them the real "Al di La" by a fellow named Domenico Modugno.

Then Macino came to the banquette, took Madeleine by the hand, and they walked out of the Studio Lounge arm and arm toward the elevator as the audience, realizing what was probably going to happen soon, started laughing and chanting "Ecco! Ecco!"

Joe Pajucie and the two remaining cheap looking girls couldn't believe their eyes. In an attempt to save the night, Joe Pajucie said to them, "Let go to the Pirate Club for an Oscar steak." When they got downstairs and got into the two payment past due red Cadillac convertible, wouldn't you know that the battery was dead. The girls caught a cab back to the Derrick Club.

Joe Pajucie started walking toward the Watch Shop to see if Isadore Jansburg, Sonny Martini and Charlie Killebrew would let him play a hand or two of gin rummy that they usually had going on in the back room. When he got there, the place was dark.

Copyright 2003 - William S. Cherry

All rights reserved

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Selling America Since 1964

214 503-8563

800 314-7110

Everyone has heard about Bernard Madoff by now.  He's the guy who has allegedly run the largest and longest running Ponzi scheme ever.  And now his investors, the SEC, and anyone else who wants to either cry because of their losses, or make out like they knew he was a gonif all along, are wondering what will happen now.

What is starting to get on my nerves is this latest "Light Bulb Going Off In the Head Proclamation" that many of the radio and TV pundits and their call-in guests are saying as if it's their original thought.   It goes like this:

"Madoff hasn't perpetrated the world's biggest Ponzi scheme...there's one even bigger than that."  And then the guy who makes the statement waits for the person he's addressing to say, "Oh?  What would that be?"

And then when he does, the brain child responds as if what he's getting ready to say should make him Mensa material.  "The biggest Ponzi scheme is Social Security system! Ha, ha, ha...."

Well, the Social Security formula doesn't begin to meet the definition of a Ponzi scheme. 

To begin with, if the fund runs short, the federal government covers the shortfall.  How?  By raising taxes on those who are current and future participants.  Since "government" is us, there is no third party. 

Attorney Algonquin J. Calhoun would explain it this way,  "You see, Kingfish, we, the people, is the Ponzeyes and we is also the Ponzees."

In contrast, Ponzi schemes have no way to balance the books because the guy who's "Ponzi" has no intention of covering his clients' losses, and every intent of convincing them that they are making a profit while they are contemporaneously losing their Palm Beach high rises and Harry Winston diamonds.

Copyright 2008 - William S. Cherry

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America

214 503-8563

800 314-7110

There are several very valuable lessons for Realtors here, so stick with me as I tell this story.

BACKGROUND

Although my primary profession is as a real estate broker, and that's been the case for more than forty years, throughout it all, I've also played cocktail piano professionally and tuned hundreds and hundreds of pianos.

I'm sorry. I just have this need to be near, around and in touch with pianos.  That need dates back to my childhood.  So I juggle tuning, repairing and playing pianos with my real estate career.

THE STORY

About ten years ago, I was retained by Instrumental Director Bob Wall to service and tune the nearly twenty pianos that were in the sanctuary, classrooms, choir rehearsal hall and chapels of the University Baptist Church in the Houston suburb of Clear Lake City. 

Clear Lake City is a bedroom community -- a byproduct caused by the development of the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Craft Center between Houston and Galveston. 

In June 1974, five families got together to found and build a new Baptist church to serve Clear Lake City.  They named it University Baptist Church.  They called their first pastor, Dr. Bill McGregor.  Then they began meeting in space they rented at a public elementary school. 

But by that Christmas, tragedy had struck.  Dr. McGregor and his family had died in a plane crash. 

Nevertheless, the five founding members revitalized their strength to continue their dedication, and within a couple of years, the membership had grown to 150.

But there were still not enough members to convince local banks to lend the church money to buy land and build its first building.  So most if not all of the membership agreed to jointly co-sign the church's mortgages.  Land on Middlebrook was acquired and first sanctuary was built. 

By the time I arrived to tune the twenty pianos about 1998, the church was being pastored by Holy Bible scholar and noted minister, Dr. R. Robert Creech.  Its dynamic membership had grown in numbers to many, many hundreds.  Every day I came to tune several of those twenty pianos, there was a lot of member activity going on.

So when I ran into Dr. Creech for the first time in the hallway, and we introduced ourselves, I couldn't help but ask...

THE QUESTION

How did this church happen when so many others, both new and old, fail? 

<<---Dr. Robert Creech, Senior Pastor

THE ANSWER

He told me that the founding members had retained a professional market study firm to determine where in the NASA area the most families lived who 1) had young children, and 2) were most likely to not have found a permanent church home.

Once that was established, University Baptist Church located undeveloped land that was near the center of that area, and that could be bought for a reasonable price.  They began construction of the first building.

Next came how to attract members. 

The marketing firm suggested that the church buy 500 copies of the TV History Channel's DVD on the "Life of Christ."  They then put stickers on each box that said, "Compliments of the University Baptist Church, 16106 Middlebrook, Houston."

After church services on Sundays as well as other days, the then small congregation began methodically ringing the doorbells of homes within the church's target area.  Although paraphrased, here's in general what they said when the doors were answered:

"I'm John Doe and my family and I are members of the University Baptist Church.  We built it on Middlebrook so that it would serve your neighborhood.  We'd like for you to have a copy of the History Channel's TV program, "The Life of Christ."  You're sure to find it interesting. 

"After you've watched it, perhaps you'll pass it on to one of your friends.  Meanwhile, here's a piece about our church with the programs we offer and the times of our services.  We'd love for you to join us.  I'll call you in a few days to see how you liked the DVD, and whether or not you have any questions."

Dr. Creech said that one investment of about $6,000 and the time of that few people began the quick and exponential growth of University Baptist Church.

"And now we have programs here every day," he continued.  "Caterers are always delivering at lunchtime....barbecue, pizza, Tex-Mex, Italian.  We have almost constant activities for men, women and our young people.  We keep our members thoroughly involved in the church and in touch with each other."

Now the campus of Houston's University Baptist Church is enormous, the parking lots are either full or almost full for every service.  A full orchestra under the direction of Bob Wall, plays for most services. 

The contribution University Baptist Church has made to the spiritual lives of thousands is, at least to me, amazing. 

Nevertheless, at its foundation was focused-marketing, developed and orchestrated by a professional company.  That's how any business increases its chance of winning.  In this case it was a win for The Three in One -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit -- as well as a win for the families that joined the University Baptist Church.

Copyright 2008 - William S. Cherry

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America

214 503-8563

800 314-7110

Two interesting things came my way this morning.  I want to share them with you...especially the thoughts of Dr. Adrian Rogers.

1)  The News said Mr. Obama plans to dress up in a stove pipe hat and morning coat, taking his presidential vows with his hand on President Abe Lincoln's Bible.  He needs to rethink the idea of the costume.  I love the idea of using Lincoln's Bible, however.

And my friend and financial wizard, Ken Lanyon, sent this (and the last sentence...the one that's italicized...is everything you need to know about this piece):

2)  "You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom.  What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.  When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

~~~~~ The late Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931 - 2005 ~~~~~

"Wise Wife's Bridge to a Place of Discomfort"
By Heber Taylor
The Galveston County Daily News

Published December 21, 2008

A preacher was telling a story about his wife. The Preacher's Wife, maybe feeling her life was shrinking a bit, began to pray that something wonderful would happen, to give her the sense that life, even in middle age, is something that can grow again.

She was praying that she'd be open to something new when she noticed the man on the street, selling newspapers.

Although she was an online reader, she bought a paper. She bought one every day, without fail.

She learned he was a veteran when she brought him coffee on a cold morning. She learned the Old Veteran made $20 or $30 a day selling papers. The money supplemented a disability check.

Some days, she brought him breakfast.

The Preacher's Wife was building a bridge. She was going somewhere outside the place she was comfortable to make contact with another person who looked as if he could use some help.

The Preacher's Wife finally asked her husband if she could invite the Old Veteran home for Thanksgiving dinner.

The Preacher acknowledged he had made a face. It's the face you see on TV when a pundit thinks he's been asked a question that suggests an uncomfortable idea.

The Preacher's Wife did a wonderful thing at this point. She did nothing. She waited on her husband.

Although the Preacher didn't say this, I think the Preacher's Wife had faith. She had faith she had married a good man. She had faith that he would, with time, grow into this new, uncomfortable idea.

It took him a year, but he did. He said, plainly and with no words to soften the harshness of his judgment, that he thought the reason he had been so uncomfortable was that he was selfish.

The Old Veteran came to dinner. Maybe it was uncomfortable. The Old Veteran was in his best clothes when he came to the fine house to eat. It's easy to imagine him feeling intimidated. It's hard to imagine him being comfortable.

All new places in life are uncomfortable. But, as you get used to them, these new places can be exciting, even invigorating. Sometimes, they're rewarding.

So the Preacher's Wife helped her husband build a bridge to a spot outside the place where he was comfortable.

The Preacher told the story as a man who was thankful. It was as if he had been freed from something constraining.

It was a good story about Thanksgiving. But it seemed like a Christmas story, too. It seemed like a good one for a community whose folks need to build a lot of bridges and go into a lot of uncomfortable places if they are going to help each other recover from a storm.

Copyright 2008 - The Galveston County Daily News

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<<===My friend Heber Taylor is editor of The Galveston County Daily News.  And he has been my personal editor for my columns and books for fifteen years, maybe longer.

His wife, Dr. Dale Taylor (affectionately known as "The Wise Woman") is a professor of English. -- Bill Cherry

BILL CHERRY REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America!

214 503-8563

How even the smallest town's citizenry supports the arts, its churches, and its public facilities like parks has always been of great importance to how the community grows and sustains itself.

One of the primary reasons churches, for an example, don't pay property taxes is to encourage them to become a part of the community.  One of the first things a prospective newcomer will ask is where his church will be; not that all ever really plan to become active members, but because they feel if the church is there, that is a significant indication that the town is morally viable.

How a town supports its arts, churches and public facilities is directly proportionate to how viable its real estate market is.  Real estate professionals frequently take the contributions of these programs and facilities for granted.

In my view, that is a huge mistake. 

One of Dallas' most spectacular facilities is the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center.  It was designed by I.M. Pei and built in downtown Dallas in 1989 as the home of the Dallas Symphony. 

Ross Perot made a sizable donation and asked that when it was built that it would be named after his sidekick at EDS, Mort Meyerson.

But in reality, the amount of public funds and personal, foundation and corporate donations that were made to the Myerson are what guaranteed it would be built.  And it is the continuing public donations that guarantee that it will remain viable.

As we do every Christmas Season, Patty and I and our friends, Cindi and John Burnside, recently went to the Meyerson for the Dallas Symphony's Christmas program. 

As I looked through the printed program, all of the significant donations that had been made were listed.

What interested me was that of all of the real estate brokerage firms in Dallas, and of all of the "power agents" who claim to sell multi-millions of dollars worth of homes every year, and insinuate that their earnings are as much as a million dollars, I found only one firm that was listed as a donor.  And it was the firm that almost every Dallasite would expect to find listed there.

That is a very significant statement.

Real estate agents and companies should consider supporting the arts, tithing at their church, and helping fund community events before they budget for their vanity ads in magazines and newspapers. 

It's a moral cost of doing business.  For without those community affiliations, we would not be successful in our business. 

It's odd how few of us seem to grasp this concept. 

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America

214 503-8563

Copyright 2008 - William S. Cherry

             I'm never sure exactly when it's going to happen, but every year at this time I realize how much I miss jazz singer Mel Torme. 

            Torme knew more about the mixing of cord harmonies than anyone did before or has since. 

             He was the one who taught that art to bandleaders Les Baxter and Artie Shaw, and singers Ginny O'Connor (Henry Mancini's wife), the Hi-Los and the Manhattan Transfer. 

             He's the one who wrote the arrangements for Chico Marx's band when Torme was but a teenager.

            He's also the one my business colleague of twenty-plus years ago, Boston real estate planner, Carol Todreas, and I tromped on  many bitter-cold snowy nights from our Central Park South hotel. the Essex House, to see at a small Manhattan dinner club called Marty's. 

             There we'd hear Mel along with pianist George Shearing and his Trio, in a packed house that held no more than 70 people.

             Marty's was carved out of the corner of a multi-story parking garage.  It was New York's best kept secret. 

             No way did the owner make any money, and it's for sure Torme and Shearing were working for not much more than a free meal.  But for them it was the perfect gig.  For the audience it was the venue of succes d'estime.

            Mel Torme wrote the tune and most of the words to the Christmas song that goes, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.  Jack Frost nipping at your nose."  And he did it when he was just 22-years old. 

             The following summer he appeared to a packed house in the Marine Ballroom at Galveston's Pleasure Pier.  And he had one successful appearance after another at the famed Balinese Room, although his name never seems to be included in the list of the B-Room's star performers like Phil Harris, Myron Cohen, Frank Sinatra and the like when someone speaks or writes about those days.

            The symphony did its annual Christmas Pops concert this past Saturday night.  The house was packed.  Looking around one would have thought every senior citizen within a fifty-mile radius of Dallas was in the audience, all the while the young people must have been somewhere else.

            The orchestra played arrangements of many of the favorites - Adeste Fideles, Little Drummer Boy, Deck the Halls, O Come All Ye Faithful and so on.  But before that, they played my old friend Mel's song. 

            And I sung along in my head, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.  Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Yule time carols...."  My tears began to flow.

            And while the orchestra and the rest of the audience moved on in the program, they left me behind, as they always do, to think of Christmases of the past when Mel was still singing his songs, Carol and I were tromping through the Manhattan snow to hear him at Marty's, and all of the members of the Cherry family were still alive and together awaiting that year's wonderful celebration of Christmas. 

             Those are the very special reasons I miss my friend, Mel Torme, who passed away in 1999. 

             His friendship, style and wonderful voice only remain with me in my memory, and through the recordings he made long ago. 

             And oddly, many singing "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire," this season don't know its real title is "The Christmas Song," and most probably have never heard of Mel Torme.

Copyright 2008 - William S. Cherry

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America

214 503-8563

800 314 7110

HOW YOU GET IT.

Representatives of ATT are knocking on Dallas doors and ringing telephones, all in a big push to get thousands of TV owners to change from whatever receiving service they now use to ATT's.  It's called U-Verse.

While these representatives commonly infer that subscribers will get their signals by fiber optics, the newer and more pure method of transmittal than cable, satellite and rooftop antennas, that's not what they are offering.

IT'S NOT TRUE FIBER OPTICS

In an effort to save massive upfront costs, ATT engineers and vendors developed a hybred system.  In generalities, the signal does go by fiber optics from the "main office" to large chests of wire in residential neighborhoods, but it travels from that chest by regular copper telephone wire to the homes.  It's the same wire that the telephone voice signals have been transmitted to your home for years.

THE PROBABLE REASON FOR FAILURES

Those wires, in most cases, are old and have countless splices in them as phone service has been added, subtracted and modified over the years.  So while voice travels them with reasonable intelligence, that's often not the case with the massively more complex television signals.

When the signal reaches its destination along with telephone and Internet signals, it is divided by a splitter that's called a baling, and fed to a modem that directs the signal to the TVs.

THE PROBLEM COMPOUNDED

Here is the problem in a nutshell.  The technology apparently works swell in the laboratory where everything is new, where weather isn't involved and where line runs are short.  But it often times does not work when applied in real-life situations.

And if that isn't bad enough, the technicians who come to try to locate problems are very limited in their actual understanding of what causes problems and how to correct them.  So the manner in which they approach correction is two fold:  make sure all of the wires are tightly connected, and change out component parts with the hopes that will solve the problem.

IN A NUTSHELL

The service technicians don't know how or why it works.  That's the paradox.  If you don't know how or why, what chance have you to know why it isn't?

OUR EXPERIENCE AT WORLD HEADQUARTERS

We added U-Verse at World Headquarters about six months or so ago.  It has never worked properly although ATT has sent out at least eighteen different technicians to try to fix it.  And oft times a technician has spent well over two hours disrupting our lives while he's making one more attempt to stop the failures.

The common problems are feezing and pixalating.  You simply can't enjoy a program because you miss huge chuncks of it as a result of the U-Verse failures.  Beginning last evening, our TVs will just freeze on a frame and remain that way.  The only way to bypass that malfunction is to turn the modem off and reboot it.

The tech supervisor has promised to come on Monday, but if he can't get it resolved, we are going to immediately change services. 

WHAT OTHERS HAVE EXPERIENCED

If you speak with neighbors, read Internet posting and the like, you'll find people either get great service or bad service.  And it appears to me that at least in Dallas, it is not evenly divided.  Most people seem to wish they had never seen U-Verse.

WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE?

HERE'S AN UPDATE (12-26-2008):  Finally AT&T sent out a very experienced technician and who maintained constant contact with the trouble-shooter in Phoenix.  The problem was solved when it was discovered that the connections in the interface (the box where the phone line from the pole connects to the lines to your home) were not properly grounded.  This seems to have solved the problems.  If our count is correct, it  took fourteen service calls with fourteen different technicians to get this resolved.

Copyright 2008 - William S. Cherry

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America

214 503-8563

Financial Advisor, Alfred E. Neumann

Financial advisors of every nature --- stock brokers, life insurance specialists, real estate investment mentors, trust officers, economists, the list goes on and on -- not only neglected to work to get their clients out of the equities market before it began its decent, but were encouraging them to continue taking more risks by increasing their portfolios.

That's indisputable, and it's indisputable that the majority's advice and the products they were pushing are, in the main, what has caused the world financial markets to tumble to their present low points.  So in the opinion of many, it was that advice that caused their clients to be in the awkward positions they are in today.

So my question is simply this:  Why would anyone follow those same people's advice as to how to handle their investment accounts now?

In reality, there are only three logical positions those who are in the market should take at this point, regardless of the size of their corpus -- a few thousand bucks or multi-millions:

1.  Do nothing.  Keep the status quo, no matter how scared you are or how hard it is to convince yourself that this is the right tact.  Selling and converting to cash at this point does nothing more than assure that you've got and will have losses.

2.  Methodically sell portions of those equities that have losses and take the write-off against your current income, and then reinvest that entire capital amount back into like investments.  This should only be done with the meticulous advice of your tax advisor.  It is a very positive tact.  It's the ray of sunshine.

3.  And finally, this one:  Take a deep breath, and then begin investing more cash into conservative companies, real estate and the like, that are not over-valued at their current market price, so that you can not only increase the possibilities of recovery profits, but also will experience the recovery faster than by holding to the status quo.

Probably the worse consideration for most at this point is redeeming accounts and putting the proceeds in other forms of investments.  Remember, most financial advisors only make money for themselves when clients are buying or selling. 

In our case, we are following a blend of No. 2 and No. 3.  However, that's certainly not meant to be advice for you or anyone else to follow. 

You need and should make your own decisions.  In a huge number of cases, that people followed others' advice is why they've seen their estates take huge haircuts.  Your best friend today is an astute and knowledgeable Certified Public Accountant.

Copyright 2008 - William S. Cherry

BILL CHERRY, REALTORS

DALLAS

Our 44th Year Selling America

214 503-8663

Over the past couple of months, I've written pieces about subcontractors and vendors we used to do some much needed repairs and updating here at our Dallas "World Headquarters."

I provided you with references for plantation shutters, framing, finish carpentry, Sheetrock, electrician, and air conditioning.  A number of readers have used them and called back to thank us for the references.

Now it's time for carpet, hardwood, tile and other hard surface flooring.

Because we had a great relationship with a Flooring America member when we lived in South Shore Harbour near Houston, we looked for the Flooring America contractor when we moved to Dallas.  The dealer is Dobson Floors.

Our plan was to replace the carpet throughout the house with hardwood and to have marble put in our entry.  When we went to Dobson to begin the process, the salesman who met us was Michael Santos.

Now before I go any further, let me tell you about Dobson.  It is a company owned by the employees, has been in business for many years, and has a series of annual stickers on the front window letting visitors know that they are members of the Dallas Better Business Bureau. 

All of that made us even more comfortable that our selection of Dobson Floors, represented by their salesman, Michael Santos, would be the right one. It was and we have every reason to believe that it will be for you, too.  And let me quickly add that their customer service is superb.  Here's how you get Michael:

MICHAEL SANTOS

DOBSON FLOORS

2010 EASTGATE

GARLAND

972 270-8741 EXT. 240

If you will tell Michael that you read this blog post -- the one written by his friend, Bill Cherry -- you will get a special discount.  No joke.